Last night was quite the 'experience.' I had the night off from coaching, but I truly just love being at the gym. The atmosphere is positive and fun...and distracting. I like it!

Well, last night brought back way too many memories for me.

So few know. Actually, I think just my mom knows.

Everyone believes Mike passed away in his sleep. Yes, he did. He never did wake up. But it all happened just a little bit differently than most may think...

I woke up to what I thought was super loud snoring. Honestly, that wasn't too abnormal - Mike was approved for a CPAP machine the day before he passed away. Before I knew it, he fell off the bed. Maybe a bad dream or something, so I laughed and hollered at him to get up. There was no response other than lots of gasping for air. I got out of bed and ran around to Mike laying on the floor, eyes rolled back and eyelids almost closed. No response. Nothing. I freaked. I called 911 and they talked me through moving a 400 pound person. My husband. And then proceeded to give me directions for chest compressions. It was awful. It was God awful. My husband. 400 pounds. My husband. I've been trained for this. My husband. The ambulance came. I think we all know how it ended...

Last night a girl passed out at the gym. She is now totally fine. She has a condition and sometimes she passes out. It's happened before and will likely happen again. She was laying there, eyes rolled back...she came back extremely quickly, but it was enough to 'set me off.' Thank God for our doctors, nurses, coaches, etc., etc. She was fine. The ambulance came. Way too many similarities for someone who experienced this with her husband. Thank God this girl was fine. Beyond fine - up laughing and eating within minutes. But way too many similarities...

I'm so thankful to my friends and family for understanding my reaction. For not judging me or questioning the things running through my head last night. For just being there.