Being happy?

Today is Wednesday. I haven't cried since Sunday morning. This feels like such a huge accomplishment!!

I finally went ahead and watched "PS: I Love You." I'm not really sure why. I just did. I cried. I sobbed. I ugly cried and soaked the pillow I was laying on with tears. But, somehow, I felt better after.

I donated a few of Mike's clothes. Well, truth be told it was a bag of clothes that his mom gave to him and sat in our basement for over a year. He said he would go through it and I just couldn't get rid of it because it might have some high school jerseys or something in it...ya know, the 2XL shirts that he couldn't fit his right arm in! I didn't even open the bag, but it was a step.

I hung some new pictures, things that I picked, for the living room. I refinished the hutch we used at our wedding. It was always part of the plan for the hutch, but I never mustered the energy to do so. Both were projects I started within the first month of Mike passing...a distraction. I finally finished them. It sounds silly, but for the longest time the LITTLEST of tasks was completely and utterly EXHAUSTING.

God, I loved that man. I love him still. I will forever. He taught me so much about life and happiness. I've also learned not to take life for granted because you just never know what tomorrow will bring. I miss him every single day...every last second of the day. But, ya know, I want to be happy. I want to have a life again. It's not going to be easy. I don't even know if it will happen. But, I'm going to try...Mike would want me to be happy.