Thank you

This is my mom. The most beautiful and strong person I know, both inside and out. If you knew a fraction of what she has been through and the simple fact that she survived it, you'd be amazed. To see her face every day with such optimism and a constant smile on her face - it's a fucking miracle. She has been my rock my entire life and even more so since Thanksgiving. (That's how I refer to that day, Thanksgiving...I refuse to say it another way.) On the way home from the hospital (on Thanksgiving), I told her I will survive this. I didn't know what that meant or what it'd look like other than that I would survive. She has helped me more than words can express. Mom, I love you and am so grateful for you and the special relationship we share.

Here is my Gamma family. I spent Christmas Day with these people. When they all had a million other things to do, family to see, presents to unwrap, food to eat or anything other than spending Christmas with me, they spent Christmas with me watching Mike on TV replaying him becoming the 4th strongest man in the entire world. (I should add, one point shy of 3rd. Sorry, Thor, or I should say "The Mountain.") Here are some of us at Angel and Estreya's wedding last weekend. Instead of doing wedding favors, Mr. and Mrs. Rosado made a large donation to Barbells for Boobs in memory of Mike. I really don't even have the words here to say thank you or explain how meaningful that is to me. And to the Gamma family...thank you for always being there for me and supporting me. Thank you for forgiving me when I'm having a bad day. Thank you for letting me weight shame you...I promise it's for your benefit. ;) Thank you for letting me cry if I need to and not pushing me to explain. Most of all, thank you for giving me strength. Gamma Strong!



And here is my (real) family, minus Uncle Denny and Sarah. (Uncle Denny took the picture and Sarah is in NYC living her dream!) We're a little family, but we are close. I spent the past week at their beach house simply relaxing. Somehow laying on a beach, reading a really trashy book (thank you, Amanda) and getting sun poisoning lifted a lot of weight off of my shoulders. Thank you guys for loving me even when I'm difficult. Thank you for sticking by my side when I push you away. Love you. (Sorry the picture is so dark.)

Are there really any words for these pictures? I guess I will attempt a few... For those who don't know, this is the Karate Kid headband. I'm not going to lie, I haven't seen the movie and therefore really don't find much humor in it. However, my husband did. Along with the other crazy headbands and shoes that he wore. I can't remember the exact quote, but he was often asked why he rocked the headbands and bright shoes - he just said that he wanted to have fun, simple as that. The top, left picture is him in Louisiana with Dione Wessels, the president of the American Strongman Corporation. Mike and I had been dating casually about one month when he left for this competition. I later found out, he went and bought a netbook and air card the night before leaving so he could Facebook back and forth with me while away. The 400 pound, 4th strongest man in the world told me over that netbook that he wanted to someday marry me and wanted me to be the mother of his children. I know, it sounds kind of crazy, but it worked for us. We just knew. The bottom picture is of me from yesterday, my first strongman competition. This thank you goes to the strongman community. You guys are some of the coolest people I've ever met in my entire life! I'm so glad I have met so many of you and to those I haven't actually met, we are still 'friends' via Facebook - lol, but I find inspiration in your determination to reach your goals. Thank you.

 

 

Here is the trophy I won yesterday. LOL, I'm not going to lie...there was only two people in my class! HAHAHA! It's not about winning or losing...lol, who am I kidding...but I was proud with my performance. I pulled a tractor trailer and got a picture of it in today's local newspaper. I loaded the heaviest stone I ever have done with ease. I won the Hercules hold event and tied for first in the dumbbell press. More importantly, I conquered a fear of competing. I attempted strongman and now totally disagree with my husband's smartass comment of, "Strongman is stupid." He never really believed that, to be clear. If you knew him, it was just his sense of humor. Thank you to all of you who came to support us. Thank you to Matt for introducing me to the idea of competing at this competition and helping so much yesterday. I'd say thank you for all the help leading up to it, but I didn't train at all - it was more just a, eh, let's give it a try type of thing. Thank you, Bill, for also competing and wearing Mike's smiley face headband like a boss. Bill, I'm so proud of you...for so many reasons that I can't even put into words. You are a true inspiration. Thank you.

I could go on and on thanking people for being such amazing people and rocks in my life, especially since that dreaded Thanksgiving day. Kind of ironic, the day we stop and give thanks for all that we have in life... I'm thanking people for being there after I lost the biggest part of my life on that day.

I miss Mike nonstop. I have truly come to believe that it is a pain that will never go away. Instead, it's a pain that I will learn to live with and still be able to find happiness from other things at the same time. I constantly wonder what he would say and do in whatever I'm doing. Some things I know he'd be with me, it's things we would've done together. Other things, I know he would have never done and I would never have done them if he were here. I'm thankful that I'm starting to reach a point that I'm OK with that. It's OK to be me. I can't constantly live my life refusing to do things because Mike wouldn't have done them. With that said, I went to a concert at a winery last night...haha, definitely something Mike would NOT have done! It's a bad picture, it really hadn't even started yet, but you get the idea. Here is the thing, I had fun. I truly had a wonderful time. I smiled and laughed. And, I'm not sorry nor do I regret it. I am so thankful for everyone's support to get me to this point. I'm sure it will come and go, there will be good and bad days, but I'm starting to actually believe that it's OK to do things that make me happy. Mike would want me to be happy in anyway that I can be.