My comment...

Hi love-

I wish you were here to talk to, to have someone to run things by. While some of it would be normal everyday stuff, most of it would be about the challenges I've been facing because you aren't here. How am I supposed to handle this?

The 'media' still asks for statements. For comments. I don't know why or even what they expect. All I want to tell them is that you, the man that was my entire universe, is no longer here. My best friend and the man who was to be the father to our children, he isn't here anymore and I miss him more than you could ever imagine. Other than that, leave me alone and respect my privacy and pain. It doesn't seem to matter to them. One thing I can say I have learned (or 'hardened' up about) is to truly not care about what others say. I knew you. I know the kind of husband, brother, son, grandson, friend and competitor you were. Nothing and no one will change my mind. I know how warm, loving and giving you were. I know how much you sacrificed to make your dreams come true. If someday I can become just a fraction of the person you were, if I can help a hundreth of the people, or if I can inspire one person to believe in himself...I will die a happy woman. I am and will ALWAYS be proud to be your wife.

It's somehow managed to be a good weekend! You set me up with the BEST network of people. Great workouts, shopping, tanning. Some of your strongman buddies came to do stones. I did stones! Baby, I was always your number one fan, but now that I have personally shaved my arms, taped them up, smeared disgusting tacky on me...I just don't get it! You are right, 'Strongman is stupid!' ;) Although, I might have done a song and dance when I loaded the heavier stone! What a thrill and a desire to get better each time. I do get that.

Mom and I got the future baby poundcake a present! I'm scared for her future boyfriends. I'm sorry in advance Derek. Do you remember when we picked out Princess Julia's 1st birthday present? It makes me laugh and breaks my heart at the same time. You were like a kid in a candy store. Actually, you were a 400 pound man, one of the strongest in the world and half in tears at Babies R Us with dreams of the day we would shop for our own miracle. I remember like it was yesterday, and I will never forget it.

We celebrated Bill's birthday last night at his favorite restaurant - Buffalo Wild Wings, of course! And followed up by Froyo, duh! Our members are so beautiful and strong inside and out! You would have had so much fun!

I continue to miss you every single second of the day. I woke up with Lexi snuggled close in our king size bed. I think she knows when I need some extra loving. I can't thank you enough for everything you taught me - about life, love and hard work. Most of all, I can't thank you enough for teaching me who I am, for helping me discover who I am and what I want to become.

Love you always and forever.

Your wife,
Keri